By: The Boofslinger (The Dogg’s alternative nom de plume)
The Quebec region boasts some of the best kayaking in the world and has reliable flows all summer long. It offers some impressive class 5 whitewater! You can imagine how excited The Dogg was when planning a trip up there for late July for Calleva’s Advanced Canada Trip!
I had been crossfitting my summer away, getting as jacked and ripped as I possibly could. It was time to get back in a kayak and use those muscles for a good purpose. Joining me on this trip with Calleva staff Jesse and Levi, Sebastian, and the Calleva Youth: Patrick, Ian, Andrey, Kublai, Noah, and Silas. I was to be the on-water lead for the trip. Oh yea! I was the Boss like Tony Danza!
The group was under my tutelage, the Boofslinger, and I was to guide my Ka-Tet to become boofslingers themselves. To continue their journey from once small acorns to mighty oak trees! We are one from many, sharing our water, our lives, and our quest for boofing nirvana. We were going to put in the work, pour the concrete, lay the foundation, and build a mansion! I like nice things! Let’s go!!!
Chasm, But No Rainbow
We had a lazy day 1, making the long drive up from Calleva’s Maryland facility to Quebec. With boats finally loaded, we embarked on our journey. The cream was in the coffee, the candy was on the cane, the corn was on the cob!
Not so long into the trip, the usual amusing antics of a van full of teenagers ensued. Within 20 minutes, the smell of fart had permeated the van like a full portajohn on a hot summer day. Jesse thought it would be funny to lock the windows and crank up the heat. The stench that ensued could bring a tear to a glass eye!
In spite of the foul odor, there was high anticipation for the trip and I was swinging for the fences with the agenda of top notch whitewater I had put together. There was nothing mid on this list, all the runs were fire! We were going to find our tower, breach it, and climb to the top!
To break up the drive, we hit a late evening Ausable Chasm lap in New York before crossing the border into Canada. We were running short on daylight so we needed to get on the river tout de suite!
This unfortunately didn’t leave enough time to run Rainbow Falls at the put-in. I had run it years ago and it was very disappointing to not be able to run it on this trip. I was so upset that I was spinning around in the parking lot like Scarface at the end of Texas Chainsaw Massacre!
Jesse eventually calmed me down and we put on the main Chasm section.This little bit of whitewater through an amazingly beautiful gorge wet our whistle for the stouts to come!
Upper Neilson
Once over the border into Canada, our first mission was to spot a Canada goose. For those unaware, the Canada goose is the envy of all ornithology with its majestic barrel chest! We finally spotted one the morning of day two, which brought an omen of good luck for the trip!
I wanted to kick start the trip with one of Quebec’s best, the Neilson. This is a tough one to catch in the summer, but there would be water if Ka willed it. We went over to check and the water was low but just enough for a fun run! Winning (W)!
The river was dropping, so time was of the essence. We needed to run the Neilson today! Aujord hui! The level was good in the way that Taco Bell is good: you know better, but it’s fun and the heart wants what it wants!
The Neilson starts placidly but soon has boulder drop after boulder drop in a veritable donnybrook fight to make it through in one piece.You better come into these rapids with a cocked judy if you want to survive!
Most rapids had enough flow to weave through without scraping but some of the more sieved out ones required the paddler to raw dog it over wet rocks to bounce through. This pace continued for mile after mile so we decided to take a lunch stop to take a breather. I had packed a ham sandwich with extra dijon mustard. I like to poupon my sandwich to give me extra energy to deal with any challenges that come my way.
We reached Island Rapid, which is a stout 8-10 foot water boof over a large hole with a slide below. Unfortunately, a tree was laying across the drop at chest level, so we had to walk. Lame (L)! Good thing we scouted! Hitting that tree full speed would really knock the barnacles off your dingy!
Jesse hopped out at the end of the upper section to go get the car while the rest of us continued.
Lower Neilson
The lower part kicks it up a notch with steeper drops and dangerous sieves throughout. The final rapid is the Pothole Drop and is particularly stout. It has a tight double drop into some intense boils and a large hole at the bottom backed up by a rock!
The line was definitely sus: the approach was rocky and it was hard to get speed to jump the boil. I lost some speed coming to the lip but was able to launch out well enough to clear it and skip over the bottom hole.
What a day! It may have been a little low with a little pinch of pepper, but I always enjoy battling it out in the mank! Anyone who has a problem with low water Neilson has a problem with me. I suggest you let that one marinate a little!
We celebrated our sweet day on the river with Au Joli chocolate treats and Diet Coke, a staple of Quebecois dirtbags!
High Water Matawin
The next morning, we scouted the Batiscan for some park and huck action. However, it was a little too high for our liking. Lame! We told that river to pound sand and we continued our path toward the Matawin River.
The Matawin is an incredible run, and, if nothing else, is a grand adventure in the Canadian wilderness. While the amount of reward for your effort can be debated, the Matawin is one of my favorite runs in Quebec. Anyone that has a problem with the Matawin has a problem with me. I suggest you let that one marinate!
The shuttle is long, so we decided to stop by the rafting outfitters to see if we could pay someone to help us out. We found a really nice guy named Conrad who was willing to drive our shuttle for us. The raft guides told us that the river was high and warned of deadly hydraulics to watch out for. They were adamant that we should reconsider for fear of getting stuck on the river after dark. These grave warnings threatened to stomp the brakes and send our plans right through the windshield! That would be such a loss to not do the run and possibly not even paddle.
Sure, there were legit concerns about water level and daylight. However, the sun never sets when you’re a badass! I assured them that we would be ok, and did my best to get us away from negative energy and keep the train moving down the tracks. Nobody was gonna yuck our yum! Fear does not exist in this dojo! Defeat does not exist in this dojo!
Apparently, news of the Dogg’s supreme paddling skills had not spread this far north, but that was water off The Dogg’s back. I didn’t take offense and proceeded to push our group confidently forward.
We put on and soon hopped out to look at the first rapid. It was definitely higher than the previous time I had run the river and there were several large holes strewn throughout this long rapid. Running the middle would require threading the needle through gigantic holes that would stop you like a lightning bolt when you go off the big jump in Wario Stadium! We determined that running left would keep us out of the worst of the holes so that was the way we went.
High Falls, Both Ways
The run is gorgeous and features many more big, fun rapids before we reached the crux of the run, a 30 foot waterfall, Chute de la Haute (High Falls of the Matawin).
At lower flows, you can run it in the middle of the falls. But, the high water allowed for lines on the right and left. I was eyeing up the left line where the falls plummeted the full height into a chaotic pocket. When I get nervous, I breathe deeper and expel some air out of my ears. Now, I like to think that I keep my ears pretty clean but sometimes in this situation, I’ve been known to push a tater out of my ear. I started getting self conscious so I decided it was time to run the drop.
I felt the left side calling my name. The large hole in that pocket over there was unsettling, but sometimes, like Mario, you need to punch that question box, claim your super mushroom, and put on your big boy pants! I lined up and launched out, clearing the boil and landing softer than a Cinnabon sampler! Oh yea! It was so FIRE!
Since it went so well, I decided to carry back up and run the right side. I found a nice trail that took me easily back to the top. W! I was going to have my cake and eat it too! What? Isn’t the whole point of cake to eat it?
The right side of the falls is more of a cascade and given the high volume, I melted as I went down the drop, only to reemerge well downstream! Two SIK runs of the falls gave me an indescribable elated feeling of je ne sais quoi!
The group was all smiles heading downstream of the falls as we finished out an overlooked but very cool river. We arrived at the mosquito ridden takeout with some time to spare and loaded quickly to head on to the next destination. I made sure to pass along a beautiful picture of me running the waterfall to our raft guide friends.*
Mistassibi & Poulet Frit Kentucky
We hit the Mistassibi river the next day for some big waves and holes and lots of fun.
Before leaving the area, we scouted a few nearby park and hucks, but none of them looked appetizing enough to suit up for. We told the park and hucks to lug ice and headed to the local town to hit up PFK (Poulet Frit Kentucky). Who would have dreamed that the Colonel with his 11 herbs and spices would have made its way up into Canada!
I think we all need to take a good look in the mirror and wonder where we would be without the Colonel and his famous chicken recipe. Truth be told, I hate the Colonel with his wee beady eyes and that smug look on his face! Oooo! You’re gonna buy my chicken! Ohhh! But I digress.
Valin
The next day, we ran the Valin River with long time friend turned Quebecois fur trapper David Carey! Beta was sparse, like all the other runs, so we were glad to have him along to steer us to the correct spot for the put-in.
For those of you who are unaware, the Valin is hands down the best run in all of Quebec! The crème de la crème! There I said it! I regret nothing! Though short, there isn’t a dull moment on the run with awesome drops throughout! Given the placid appearance at the takeout, you would never guess the river would be playing a trick to hide a more treacherous personality, like Bing Crosby before White Christmas when he was on the bottle and a mean drunk!
To get ourselves prepared for the challenge, Jesse cooked a special breakfast of ostrich eggs. The ostrich is a descendant of the velociraptor so we were fueling our bodies with prehistoric alpha predator protein!
I was stoked to do a new run that I had heard so much about! There is always something more to learn, even for a master! Let’s go!!!
Honeypot Falls
We started with a 25 foot waterfall called Honeypot Falls. It has a beautiful smooth entry to a nice launch curler and a freefall into a clean pool below. I encouraged the youths and made sure they had a strong plan for how they were going to run this drop. It was time to fire it up and this was a time of growth and maturation. The boys were progressing nicely in their transition from timid pullers into seasoned shit runners and there was no going back! They had chosen the path of the Boofslinger when they made the decision to come on this trip. Now was the time to step up and put their skills to the test. There ain’t no such thing as halfway crooks! If you only do what you are used to, you will never be more than you are now.
Aim, accelerate, lean, crank, launch, celebrate! Boofslingers live to boof! We put in a good long session here with tons of runs of the waterfall before continuing on. Everyone had great lines here and we were all stoked for what else we would find downstream!
Aim, accelerate, lean, crank, launch, celebrate! (photos/.Levi Edelstein)
S Turn Section
The next drop on the Valin below Honey Pot is called S Turn. It has a fun slide that leads into a steep slope with a roostertail part of the way down and a large hole at the bottom. The two lines were either to run it down the meat in the center to take on the hole or raw dog it down the shallow rocks on the left. Both looked fun and I decided to fire up the middle with most of the group running left.
Soon, we hopped out for a portage around an un-runnable gorge and took a quick lunch break while looking up at this monstrous series of falls.
Several fun rapids carried us to Airbag, which was a steep 10 foot drop into a tall boiling hole before cascading down another 10 footer. It was a weird level that was juicy for the left line over the hole and too low for the right line that sneaks the rapid, so we all portaged.
Triple Drop, Blind Date, & Beyond
After two steep boulder drops, we hopped out to scout Triple Drop, a complex rapid with holes to get over and steep drops to negotiate. The entry was a fun double drop followed by a five foot ledge with a big backwash to get over.
The river then went down a 15 foot cascade into a small pool above Blind Date. Blind Date is a fun 12 foot slide into a nice hole for skipping over and catching air!
More steep rocky drops carried us to the lake and the takeout, where we had an awesome dinner of Cheddar Goblin mac and cheese and sausage cooked by none other than Master Chef Jesse! What an incredible day on an amazing river!
JCR to Quebec City to Malbae
We took a light day on the Tewksbury section of the Jacques Cartier River and visited Quebec City. We had a sweet evening on the town before heading to the Malbae River to finish our trip with a bang.
The group was tired and needed some coaxing to go, but I swore to Celine Dion, the greatest singer in the world, that we would not be disappointed! So, with hope in our hearts and bricks in our hands, we set off to smash one more section of drops.
The Malbae has probably the highest quality drops out of the Quebec runs, but also the roughest shuttle. We were given warnings that we needed four-wheel-drive but we had faith in the Calleva Sprinter van and its ability to handle rough roads.
The run meanders along through beautiful scenery for several miles before it narrows and gets steeper. Once the rapids start, they gradually build until you reach a clean 10 foot waterfall. From here, every drop is fantastic and most of them are friendly and have a high fun to danger ratio.
Gatineau Falls
Soon, looming in the distance is an ominous horizon line foreshadowing the Malbae’s piece de resistance, Gatineau Falls!
Gatineau Falls is a clean 30 footer with a sheer drop on the right and a slope to kicker on the left. The level was high enough to be stout for the right side line. The backwash was formidable and a blown boof could definitely result in a serious beatdown.
Luckily, being the Boofslinger, I have a deep trust in my boof and I knew it would not let me down. I follow the Boofslinger’s Creed! I do not aim with my hand, I aim with my eye. I do not launch with my paddle, I launch with my mind. I do not boof with my kayak, I boof with my heart! It was go time! The honey was in the hive, the jelly was in the jar!
I gained speed coming through the approach and launched out, clearing the boil, celebrating with my Ka-tet afterward. I encouraged the group to fire up the left line. We discussed the line so they had a clear understanding of where they needed to place their boat and the confidence to do it. After all, your mind is like water. When it is agitated, it becomes difficult to see. If you allow it to settle, the answer becomes clear!
One by one, the whole group of youths ran the falls with excellent lines. Let’s go!!! I was so proud of the guys and their ability to face their fear and hit the line on the falls!
Rocky Malbae Fun
The Malbae has several fun rapids after this and we made our way down sweet drop after sweet drop! We reached the takeout but our adventure was far from finished.
Jesse jogged back to get the Sprinter while we waited. Once loaded, we headed up the rocky, rutted out road and hoped that we would make it out. There were sections where we got the group out to walk so Jesse could have a light van to navigate the rock gardens and eroded spots. Things were dicey for sure, but the Sprinter made it up and out of there, rock crawling and testing the limits of the suspension and skid plates!
The Sprinter may have made some sounds like a window closing on a tonkinese cat’s tail but it proved to be a trail boss on this route dangeuse! W! Anyone who doubts the stoutness of the Sprinter can kick rocks!
The Malbae was the perfect way to end the trip. It definitely was not the toughest run we did but had some of the highest quality rapids of the week!
Poutine Conclusion
We stopped by a local restaurant to sample some exquisite Canadian cuisine! What’s moist and warm and close to heaven in earthly form? Poutine!
Although delightful, you do have to be careful, because a bad batch of poutine will give you the scoots for a week! I couldn’t help myself and ate tons of it, with my gut giving the appearance of a boa constrictor who swallowed a combat submarine!
We drove straight through for 14 hours and arrived back at the Calleva camp for the pick up of the youths. What an awesome trip! We spent the week running some of the best and most challenging whitewater that Quebec has to offer and had a ton of fun doing it.
We may not have seen all that Quebec has to offer but we saw more than some men see in a lifetime! We ran the gnar and had no ragrets! Not even a single letter!
Whenever I pass a row of portajohns, the strong scent will always make me think of the Calleva Sprinter and the many wonderful memories I made on this year’s trip to Quebec! Au revoir! Long days and pleasant nights!
Free Video of the Action
Make sure you check out this video included with this article for free! There is no charge for awesomeness! A bientot!
* The raft guides on the Matawin are really nice guys and excellent kayakers. I hung out with them at BeaverFest and hope to catch up with them again on my next trip to Quebec.
