(Regular Exploring Elements contributor Bobby “The Dogg” Miller muses about his recent trip down the Toxaway. Be sure to check out the linked, highlighed words, within the article to enjoy even more of The Dogg’s style:) -Bryon)
The mountains of North Carolina have long been famous for boasting some of the steepest runs anywhere and tons of huge drops. It is a veritable creeker’s paradise, with a multiude of world class runs to choose from. Combine that with spring rains and you have the stuff that dreams are made of! When it was announced that the Fluid North American team trip would be in the Southeast, I knew that there would be plenty of opportunities for this SIK man to fire off some stouts! After all, you can’t find a Coupe De Ville hiding at the bottom of a cracker jack box! What? Who would say something like that?!
At the top of the list of ultra-steep creeks in the Southeast sits the Toxaway River. Known for its humongous runable slides, it takes steep creek kayaking to the Nth degree! What does that even mean? Only extreme hardcore paddlers equipped with expedition equipment should even consider venturing down into the canyon! It is a remote run and even has a 4.5 mile hike out at the end. The canyon it flows through is so deep that, should you need help, no cell phone service can penetrate down in. You’d be better off with two cups and a string! Ok, enough drama.
http://vimeo.com/69875392
This creek is something that I had dreamed about for years, something I had wanted to run with a passion felt deep in the marrow of my bones, the roots of my teeth, fibers in my sinew, the linings of my intestines! Ooo! That’s gross! With the trees starting to suck up the groundwater, I knew that we were down to the 11th hour for catching some good creeks before things would dry up. When a mesoscale convective complex hit the region on Friday, it became clear that my dreams of running the Toxaway were going to become a reality the next day. After all, nothing is as powerful as the wish of a young man (well, young at heart at least), except maybe an Apache helicpoter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine. But I digress. With all the big drops on this run, I figured I’d take a few extra steps to make success a little more certain. With my new Hi N Dry paddle float/rolling aid and a makeshift sponson I made out of bamboo and a Fluid Vaya kid’s sit on top, I was assured of clean lines all day long!
Joining me for this adventure were Dave Carey, Leif Anderson, Natalie Anderson, Jules Domine, Adrian Kiernan, Mark Taylor, and Dylan McKinney. After a morning spent outfitting our new Bazookas, we were ready for some action. We had just about every color in the Fluid line represented! Leif and I were paddling red, Natalie pink, Dave green, Mark orange, and Jules and Adrian were using the new mellow yellow, called Electrical Banana! It’s gonna be a sudden craze!
Since the morning had gotten away from us, we hopped in the cars, put the pedal to the metal, and let ‘er bellow! The trip nearly ended early in disaster when we passed a “Deer Crossing” sign and a deer ran out into the road. Luckily, I was able to swerve, using my expert driving skills, and miss the deer. I don’t know why they encourage the deer to cross on such a heavily traveled road. You would think that the people in charge of putting up signs would want to discourage deer from crossing in such a high traffic area. There are plenty of back country roads where the deer could safely cross. I am thinking of writing a letter to the head of the North Carolina state highway administration to complain.
We pulled up at the putin and gazed down at the mayhem below us. I had an expression of wonder and excitement like when Night Hawk first laid his eyes on the Ivory Tower as he flew strapped to a bat! Lo! And so it would come to pass that I would finally put on this fabled amusement park of natural water slides. The run starts with a mega-slide that must run the length of two football fields! It was a fast ride all the way down to a steep slope of about 20 feet into a pool. It was an awesome way to start the run and the fun was just beginning! I figured that the run would have some small rapids that would give some rest between the big rapids but in actuality, there are no small rapids on the Toxaway! This was never more apparent than when Mark said we had an easy drop coming up and to just go right then cut back left. As I entered the slide and headed right, I realized that I was heading for a sizeable drop. I cut back left and launched off a 15 foot waterfall! On any other run, this would have been a scout and a video opportunity! To further drive this point home, the run immediately went down two long twisty slides, both 100 yards each! As I reached what to me seemed like outrageous speeds, I became instantly curious and admittedly nervous about the scary speeds I would reach later in the day when I actually made it to the really big slides!
Soon, we were out portaging around a landbridge formed by a boulder over a slide called Minigizer. We climbed onto the boulder and got in our boats, seal launching about 8 feet into the creek, and continuing down a steep twisting slide. Immediately after, there was a steep slide with a 10 foot drop into a large hole. A couple trees stuck out into the slide and we were unsure of how getting past them would be. The other problem was that running this slide meant that you were committing to running the next huge rapid called Energizer, since you can’t portage that rapid on the right. Half of the group opted to skip the approach slide and began the arduous portage up and over a cliff on the left bank. I was extremely nervous about Energizer, as this rapid was the one from videos that I thought looked the most intimidating because of its large curler that threatens to flip you in a narrow trough. Mark Taylor stepped up to the Energizer approach first, was able to stay left to avoid the strainer and blasted through the hole with no problems. After Jules followed with an excellent line of his own, I made my decision to run the approach slide and commit myself to Energizer. After all, I didn’t drive all this way to walk around rapids. It is only when we risk greatly that we can achieve greatly! I slid off the bank and aced the approach slide, getting left of the tree and blasting through the hole. We portaged the sieved out upper part of Energizer and put back in at a surging eddy right next to the slide. Mark helped me get my boat in position but the surges of water kept crashing over me and filling my boat. I was putting on my skirt and looked down into my boat to see it half full of water. Not wanting to run Energizer with water in my boat, I hopped out and quickly emptied. I was able to get in my boat quicker this time and got the skirt on before too much water surged into my boat. I charged out into the flow and quickly got up to speed. Soon, the big, scary curler came into view! I pushed my right blade forward and ducked into the curler, becoming blind for a few moments. My eyes cleared and I was flying down the slide, reaching epic speeds! I maxed out at 587 miles per hour (using actual VASCAR measurements)! I flew down the lower portion of the slide and blasted through the hole at the bottom. The celebration began afterward with paddle throwing and fist pumps! I was fired up and went back to the top to cheer on the other paddlers as they took on what is one of the most exciting slides I have ever run.
After a quick portage and some cool rapids, we were out scouting Feeding Trough. This slide necks down in an extremely narrow trough with walls that stick up above your head. Throwing a brace in here to keep you from flipping is impossible unless you place your paddle on the rock wall. At the top, there is a curler that will try to knock you off balance and then it is a fast narrow ride to the bottom where two large holes await you! The key with this rapid was having the wherewithal to place your paddle correctly and not get in a position where you flip face first in the side of the trough! I was dubious about this rapid until Jules and Adrian coasted through smoothly. Everyone else followed with smooth lines of their own.
Next up was 40/40, which is made of two 40 foot drops in a row. The first one is a sweet looking cascade but the second one falls 20 feet into a big piton rock and then falls another 20 feet into shallow water. I didn’t see a great line through this but I saw a possible line. You could maybe make it but either way you would take a big hit. More disconcerting was the fact that we caught up to Pat Keller, Dane Jackson, and Steve Fisher at this rapid and all three of them walked around it. Watching three of the best paddlers in the world walk around it, didn’t do P turkey for the courage I was trying to muster in order to attempt this rapid. After a long scout, I decided to save it for another day. It is good to be brave but also good to be careful, I learned that at my momma’s knee. Just because I decided to walk didn’t mean that I was safe. The portage goes down a steep rock face more slimy and slippery than that criminal we currently have in the White House! It’s true! It’s true! I started walking down the slope beside the first drop and slipped about halfway down. My feet went out from under me and I went down, arms flailing like a crazy old man playing knick knack paddy wack give a dog a bone! Huh? What the hell does that mean? I tumbled down the rest of the rock face until I hit the wall at the bottom. I was fine but I must say that portaging was possibly more dangerous than running the rapid!
Soon, we were out portaging the upper part of Landbridge, which is a steep slide over 100 feet tall that goes underneath a rock about halfway down. The ballsy line is to set your boat on the rock bridge and seal launch off, falling about 15 feet before landing on the slide and cascading another 50-60 feet! We got in a line and one by one launched off the rock into the excitement below. Finally, it was my turn. There was nothing left to do but pull the pin and toss the grenade! I am not a fan of seal launching at all but the rock bridge was slippery and had a slight down hill slope so I figured it would be similar to running a low volume waterfall. Sure enough, I slipped smoothly off the edge, taking a stroke to keep my bow up and landed flat on the slide. I instantly rocketed down the slide and headed toward the split in the current. I rode the flow to the left and went blazing into the pool at the bottom. Oh yesh! I hadn’t smiled that big since the time I called 911 to report a traffic hazard along Interstate 70 that happened to be a cop shooting radar!
The final major rapid is called Wintergreen and it is a humongous cascade of 100 feet. It starts out cascading to the lip of a 20 foot falls that transitions onto a steep slide, heads left and flies down to a pool. As with all of the Toxaway slides, the speeds reached were tremendous and it was a wild ride into the pool. I scouted and took some pictures as each member of our group aced this behemoth of a drop. Finally, it was my turn and was definitely nervous as I paddled up to the edge of a drop where you couldn’t even see the tree tops at the bottom! I rode down the middle of the slide and launched off the upper falls, landing smoothly and picked up speed as my boat skipped down the cascade! As I saw the pool approaching, I was so stoked and rocked a Brown Claw that Bryon Dorr would be proud of as I entered the pool!
The run continued with several fun rapids for the next mile or so to the takeout, where we reached the final challenge of the day, the 4.5 mile hike out. I know that a long hike out is not for everyone but sometimes you have to go through hell for a heavenly cause! What? Who says stuff like that! There are two things to remember when undertaking a hike like this: free your mind and your legs will follow and, if you are feeling wimpy and weak, HARDEN THE F UP!
As the miles pressed on, we were running short on light. We completed the hike under the cover of night and a feeling of accomplishment overcame all of us. The Toxaway was definitely one of the most exciting runs I’ve ever done! There is a lot of hype that goes with this run and it was all merited. There are few runs anywhere that boast as many incredible cascades as this run and I will definitely be back many times. It certainly built a little bird house in my soul. Really? WTF! We had to go out and celebrate this occasion, after all it was Saturday night and that’s all right for fighting! We hit a bar for shots of Kentucky Gentleman and, my personal favorite, karaoke! I got up and delivered a horrendous rendition of I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major General, much to the dismay of the crowd. Those who were there would best describe me as singing like an amputee, can’t hold a note, can’t carry a tune. But that is another story.
I would like to give a special thanks to Leif and Natalie Anderson for the use of their photos. They are both awesome and I wish I had a sweet mullet like Leif’s! -Bobby “The Dogg” Miller
If you enjoyed this article be sure to check out The Dogg’s other works on Exploring Elements:
Revisiting The Road Less Traveled: WV’s Lower Meadow
Legendary Waterfalls: Crazy Creek Falls
First Descent of Rainbow Falls
